Unlike previous generations, women and men currently cheat at roughly the same rates, although the reasons why women cheat may be different from men. The three main reasons for cheating in women are: lack of love for the main partner, desire for sexual variety and situational factors.
Infidelity (cheating) is the breaking of trust that occurs when you keep profound, meaningful secrets from a committed primary partner.
The definition is flexible according to the couple. It allows couples to define their own version of sexual fidelity based on honest discussions and mutual decision-making. This means that it might be fine to watch porn or engage in some other form of extramarital sexual activity, as long as your partner is aware of this behavior and agrees with it.
Typically, females step out on a committed partner for one or more of the following reasons:
- They feel underestimated, neglected or ignored. They feel more like a housekeeper, nanny or financial provider than a woman or a girlfriend. They therefore seek an external situation which validates them for what they are rather than for the services they render.
- They crave privacy. Women tend to feel valued and connected to another person more through non-sexual emotional interactions (talking, having fun together, being thoughtful, building a home and social life together, etc.) than by sexual activity. When they don’t feel this type of connection from their main partner, they can look for it elsewhere.
- They are alone. Women can experience loneliness in a relationship for a number of reasons. Maybe their spouse works long hours or travels regularly for business, or maybe their spouse is emotionally unavailable. Whatever the cause, they feel lonely and seek a connection by infidelity to fill the void.
- They expect too much from a primary relationship. Some women have unreasonable expectations about what their primary partner and relationship should provide. They expect their significant other to meet their every need 24/7, 365 days a year, and when that doesn’t happen, they seek attention elsewhere.
Women who cheat do so for many of the same reasons as men – attraction problems, unsatisfactory sex life, unhappy relationship, feelings of neglect, ego-seeking, and disconnection in marriage. “Women are not that different from men when it comes to cheating, except that they are more likely to fall in love with their new partner,” says Ruggera. The reason is hormonal – oxytocin, a hormone, stimulates the brain to give a rushing woman to be in love. Perhaps because of this, women are also more likely to worry about the emotional aspects of infidelity when their partners cheat. In a recent study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, women victims of cheating asked questions about sex in only 29% of cases but about love in 71% of cases, against 57% and 43% of cases , respectively, for men.