In a brainstorming meeting, the pressure of coming up with amazing new ideas can be debilitating. Fortunately, the last thing most businesses want are new ideas. During these largely unnecessary exercises, the goal is to contribute using the sheer gravity of your presence, to pass the ideas of others as your ideas, and to look like a real leader by questioning the effectiveness of the whole process.
Always bring a notepad with you
Always bring a notepad with you. Your rejection of technology will be revered. Take notes by simply writing one word of each sentence you hear. Nodding continuously while doing so. If someone asks if you are taking notes, quickly say that these are your own personal notes and that someone else should really be keeping track of the meeting. Well done compadre. You saved your ass and you don’t have to do any extra work. Or any job at all, if you are truly successful.
Develop a quirky, creative habit
Develop an eccentric habit that ‘helps you think’ and ‘gets your creativity flowing. ” It can be anything, whether it’s popping up in your pajamas, meditating on the floor, jogging in place, throwing a ball at the wall, beating the air with your favorite chopsticks, or all of those things. at the same time. Even if you don’t come up with any ideas, your colleagues will be intimidated by your uncontrollable creative energy.
Go out for a phone
Go out for a phone call You’re probably afraid to walk out of the room because you’re worried people will think you’re not making the meeting a priority. Interestingly, though, if you walk out of a meeting for an “important” phone call, they’ll all realize how busy and important you are. They’ll say, “Wow, this meeting is important, so if he’s got something even more important than that, well, we better not disturb him.”
Make an analogy that’s so simple it sounds deep
When everyone is trying to define the problem, make an analogy of baking a cake, or something just as totally unrelated. Your coworkers nod their heads in agreement, even if they really don’t understand how what you’re saying relates to what they’re talking about. Speaking completely over their heads will make you seem insanely transcendent and intimidating, even if the truth is that you really like cake.
Ask the presenter to come back to a slide
“Sorry, could you come back to a slide?” These are the seven words no presenter wants to hear. No matter where in the presentation you shout this, it will immediately make you feel like you are paying more attention than everyone else because they clearly missed what you are about to highlight brilliantly. Do you have nothing to report? Just say something like “I don’t know what those numbers mean” and sit down. You’ve treated yourself to almost an entire looking smart meeting.