When it comes to sex, men are ready to go at any time, right? Well, not always, research says “It’s rare that I don’t want to have sex, but the times I will say no are when I’m thinking about something intensely and I can’t pull myself out of it,”. If your partner is turning down your advances there’s probably a good explanation for his lack of interest-and it likely has nothing to do with how he feels about you. You are trying to get close to him and seeduce him but every time you try something he cuts you off, saying that he wants to watch a movie or that he is tired. Ask your partner what is happening and why he is acting so distant. Even if the answer is a bad one, at least you will know it. Here are some common reasons why men say no.

He might not be able to get over problems from the past

If you and your partner were faced with some problems in the past and you decided to move on, maybe he lost interest in sleeping with you because it still hurts him emotionally. If he is not connected with you on an emotional level, he won’t be able to do that on a physical either. Again, the best way to find the root of the problem is with a calm conversation. You shouldn’t overreact immediately because he might be suffering more than you thought. Instead, try to have a calm and normal conversation like two adults and be open about your problems.

That is the only way you can get to where you want to go.

He’s Not Ready

If he’s only been your boyfriend for a few weeks or months, then there certainly are many things you don’t know yet about him. You don’t even know if he’s done the thing before, so it might be that he’s not ready yet. Or at least, he’s not ready for this particular relationship to escalate.

He’s Sick

When he tells you he’s not feeling well three nights in a row, he might not be avoiding sleeping with you. What if he really is sick? You don’t notice his slugged shoulder or that he coughs more because you’re too wrapped up by the belief that he doesn’t want to get in bed with you.

His testosterone levels are low

“When a man gets to be over 40, his testosterone levels begin to decrease,”. “If this happens mildly over time, then a man will gradually lose his sexual prowess. But sometimes males can lose testosterone very rapidly.” This condition is sometimes referred to as andropause and comes with symptoms that include loss of energy, depressive symptoms and low sex drive.

He’s got trouble with the plumbing

Though erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation are common problems, a man who experiences these difficulties may withdraw from his partner for fear that she’ll be disappointed or think that he’s less of a man.

“It’s hard on a man’s self esteem to not be able to perform in bed,” explains “Growing up, guys always talk about being a player and being able to perform well sexually. It’s part of guy culture.”

He’s stressed out about his career

Worrying about work can be a real mood killer for many men, especially if they tend to equate professional success with self-worth. “It’s the times when I feel like I’m going nowhere and accomplishing nothing in my career that I will spiral into a negative place and I would say no to sex,”

You are not at the same emotional level as him

Maybe your man thinks that you are not interested because your behavior doesn’t show that he is the most important person in your life. If you are always working and if you are busy with your friends, it is normal that he will think that you don’t want him like before. He might be having a war inside his head but never actually telling you anything about that. So, when you try to get close to him, he will immediately pull back because he will think that you only do so when you need something. That can be a valid reason for not sleeping with you but it is just because both of you are thinking of something that is not the truth.

Communication is the key to a happy and healthy relationship and if you are more open about everything that you are going through, you won’t have any problems like this.

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