I have lived too long worrying about what others think of me. When I know that someone has different beliefs from me, I keep myself more hidden. It’s not like these people were rude or mean. It’s not like they never judged me. They are even some of my closest friends. But I’m afraid of having a different opinion from someone else, no matter how close our friendship has become. Many friendships were born out of a bond formed around a community. But it’s not just friendship. There is an incredible reality to live when you are vulnerable and you always receive acceptance and love. You have to be different to connect to the puzzle and not just rely on another piece of the puzzle that has already found its place.
How to start being yourself again:
- Circle of Support
- Focus on the process, not the outcome
- Don’t expect because this often leads to disappointment
- Stop worrying about what other people think and commit to it as a way of life
- Free yourself from toxic relationships
- Open your mind
- Detach from fear
- Let the feelings out you store in your body through exercise
- Detach from your ego
Circle of Support
Give priority to people who see and accept you as you are. Surround yourself with people who highlight your strengths and challenge you. Humans need acceptance, so don’t think you have to throw it all away. Don’t let everyone be an influencer.
Fear will hold you back at first. But make the conscious decision to say one thing every day that is contrary to the opinion of another (only if this is true of course). Try it. Test the waters. Remember, you still have your support circle. Have things gone as bad as you fear?
Focus on the process, not the outcome
If your mind is obsessed with whether it’s the person you’re going to marry, for example, you’re going to miss the enjoyment of the courtship and that first kiss … Trust the biggest plan of your life and trust things are happening over time as it should be. Ignore the urge to jump to the end of the story and enjoy the moment.
Don’t expect because this often leads to disappointment
Expectations have a way of keeping us in relationships or situations far too long, investing more and more in the hope of finally hitting payday. Expectations are not guarantees, they are rather markers. When our expectations or needs are not met, we need to take note, respond confidently and appropriately, and be flexible enough to change course if necessary.
Stop worrying about what other people think and commit to it as a way of life
While clinging to your morale compass, free yourself from consuming or controlling the opinions of others. Choose to worry more about what you think about yourself than whether your neighbor approves of it or not. We are our happiest when we live our lives in a way that aligns with our authentic selves.
With an audible sigh, breathe out through your mouth, releasing everything you no longer need or need (ie Anxiety, stress, guilt, shame, worry, etc.) Breathe in deeply through your nose, aspiring for everything you need (ie Peace, strength, serenity, courage, love, etc.). Repeat this cycle, allowing your exhalation to become longer and deeper than your inspiration and notice your mind/body/spirit calm and relaxed.
Free yourself from toxic relationships
Evaluate your support network and have the courage to push the limits or even end relationships that are not for you. Create a space in your life for new and healthy relationships.
Open your mind
A rigid thought in black and white can keep us stuck. Free yourself by considering what you don’t know and opening yourself up to unexpected new possibilities.
Detach from fear
Fear takes us through life with clenched jaws, white knuckles, closed minds and guarded hearts. Most fears ultimately arise from fear of death. The more you make peace with the fact that death is part of life, and choose to celebrate life rather than having the fear that monopolizes it, the more you will be able to consciously disconnect from the impressive and often irrational power of fear.
Let the feelings out you store in your body through exercise
For example, run and imagine your feet hammering every bit of stress down the road. Hit the tennis ball and feel the release of anger against your boss. Get on your bike and imagine with each rotation of the pedals that you divert your fears and your limits. Practice yoga to increase mind/body awareness and to recalibrate your life energy. Good massage and good sex are also positive ways to release the energy stored in the body.
Detach from your ego
Your ego is the false construction that you think you are who you are – aka your “spirit”. Do not spend energy defending yourself or taking things personally. Connect with your essence – the deeper entity within you.
The practice of meditation will teach you to separate yourself from mental chatter, find inner peace and start again for the next day. Life is easier and easier to manage with daily meditation practice, even for just a few minutes.