Falling in love is the easy part. The challenge for couples is to recreate the fire of romance and cultivate the mature and confident love that is the hallmark of a long-lasting relationship. Researchers have discovered that the love we feel in our most committed relationships is usually a combination of two or three different forms of love. But when two people in the same relationship can have very different versions of how they define love. What does this have to do with love? Man and women each define love differently. For him, love is practical and is manifested in gestures of support such as car maintenance. For her, love is possessive and a jealous response from her husband makes her feel valued. A sociologist at California State University has created a love scale that identifies six distinct types of love found in our closest relationships.
- Romantic: Based on passion and sexual attraction
- Best Friends: Fondness and deep affection
- Logical: Practical or logical feelings that are developed on the basis of shared values, financial goals, religion, etc.
- Playful: Feelings evoked by flirtation or feeling challenged
- Possessive: Jealousy and obsession
- Unselfish: Nurturing, kindness, and sacrifice
Researchers have discovered that the love we feel in our most committed relationships is usually a combination of two or three different forms of love.
How to Have a Better Relationship?
Think positive thoughts
It sounds incredibly hokey and like something that comes straight from a pop psychology textbook, but there is evidence that staying positive improves everything in life, your career, your social life and, yes, your relationship. A social psychologist discovered that positive thinking can even change the rhythmic beating of your heart.
Say words of encouragement to each other
By saying phrases like “You are the best” and”I am so proud of you babe” and “You make me feel special”, couples double their happiness levels and feel less sad and depressed. All it takes is saying such phrases and obviously those three “magical words” once a day for one week before you feel the effects!
Don’t rush into anything
The researcher discovered that the longer a couple waited before being harnessed, the more likely it was that they would stay together forever. It’s worth taking your time, getting to know each other and not putting yourself under pressure to get involved too early. It’s easier to have healthy communication when you listen to each other’s opinions more.
Have sex once a week (or more)
Couples who share intimidate time and get down and dirty once a week are 44% more likely to have positive feelings about their relationship and themselves. Start making love to each other, having sex every few days, and you’re 55 percent more likely to be secure and happy.
Share new experiences together
Travel to a new place, try a dance class, jump off a plane together, whatever! Experts call these experiences “self-developing activities,” and they’re meant to get you out of your boring and mundane routine so you can have fun. Studies show that couples who grow up together and mix things up from time to time are the strongest in the long run.