Many modern brides living in the age of female empowerment aren’t waiting for prince charming to pop the question — they’re taking their happily-ever-afters into their own hands. Proposing to Your Man. “I knew if I proposed he would have a ring and I wouldn’t be like a kept woman,” said Rebecca Reed, who proposed to her boyfriend in July on their one-year anniversary date. “I was like: I’m taking it by the balls and doing it.” “I did not get down on one knee. I felt like it is super antiquated and it was one reason I didn’t want him to propose to me,” Reed said. “He started laughing, because at first he assumed it was a joke, and so I had to go ‘No I’m serious. Will you marry me?’”
Wedding planner Jesse Reing, of Events By Jesse, who has two female clients who proposed to their grooms, thinks the growing economic equality between men and women is a factor behind the engagement trend. “I think one thing that makes the man wait is the ring,” she said. “But now we are seeing a lot of people making the same amount of money, especially in New York.” Even for women saying time’s up on patriarchal customs, some struggle to shake the pressure to have a traditional engagement.
Proposing to Your Man: Why Propose
It may not have occurred to you until you saw this article that proposing yourself is an option. It’s going against the norms, but every couple is different! Like any engagement or wedding, you better have a good reason for promising to stay with your fiancé-to-be for life. Although it’s traditional to get married, you don’t want to be doing it for the wrong reasons—like feeling pressured to take the next logical step, for example. Yes, being married can be important! But a proper foundation of love and commitment is extremely critical for any couple, traditional or unique. Rushing into things, so you have a picture perfect life or relationship will most likely not end well. If you are tired of waiting for him to pop the question, then you should talk to him about getting engaged. Having that conversation about why he’s waiting or has some concerns could be a healthy way to let him know that you’re ready and bring you closer together as a couple. Talking about finances, children, and religion can be very important before even considering the idea of marriage.
Planning the Proposal
The key to any proposal is personalization. This moment is just for the two of you so it should be as special as possible! It will be about who you are as a couple and who your partner is personally. If he is an adventure seeker, propose to him at an event or an exciting place. Begin planning the proposal at least a month in advance. You’ll need time to figure out the time and place along with getting a gift. If you’re choosing to make a more intimate proposal, recreate your first date or go to one of your favorite sites. He will love the surprise and how thoughtful you were about it. If he is especially close to his family, consider proposing around the holidays so that you can have a party with extended family after the announcement. If you love photographs and mementos, then consider hiring a photographer to capture the moment. Many wedding photographers offer a service to secretly snap pictures of the proposal to get your genuine reactions. Of course, you should only hire one if you’re entirely sure he’ll say yes.
Proposing to him may seem too forward, but it’s not! It’s a unique, modern twist on a beautiful tradition. You are telling your best friend that you can’t live without him and that he is the most important person in the world. You shouldn’t feel embarrassed about that! The best part about the whole thing is you’ll be able to tell a great proposal story to your family and children in the future.