After a year of playing mind games, you couldn’t contain your emotions any longer, so you decided to reveal your feelings to your prince charming. You expected a grand gesture after the grand revelation because, all along, you thought, “He’s just too shy to make the first move.” But then… he leaned in close to you and kissed your forehead. Your forehead! He stammered, but managed to say that even though he likes you a lot, he isn’t ready for a relationship yet, because he’s still dealing with an ugly breakup, he wants to focus on his career, or he wants to figure out ways to achieve world peace. He said you should take things slow and just enjoy each other’s company first. Here are the 5 ways to make an emotionally unavailable man fall in love.
1. Show him that you are his friend
I know your final goal is to make this man your boyfriend or even to marry him eventually but if you put all your cards on the table right away, this man might be scared and he might run away from you before giving you a chance to show him everything you have to offer. So if you want him to get emotionally attached to you, you need to show him that you don’t only want to be his lover—that you also want to be his friend. This guy needs to get to know you as a person, before he gets to know you as his potential girlfriend.
You need to understand that he will never consciously let you in his life as long as he sees that you want to make him commit, because he sees this as you taking away his freedom.
That is why he needs to see all of your qualities before this. He needs to see you are a person he can rely on and he needs to see he has your support through life. When the two of you spend time together and when you start with emotional bonding, he’ll start to grow feelings for you without even being aware of it. This is the only way to get under this guy’s skin. He’ll simply accept you as a part of his life.
2. Don’t pressure him too much
I know you want to commit. You believe in labels and all you want is a stable relationship and naturally, you want any man by your side to know this and you hope that he wants the same.
But sadly, things are not like that when you run into an emotionally unavailable man. Because when a man is emotionally unavailable, he will run away as fast as he can as soon as he hears the words ‘commitment’. So you simply don’t know what to do. You don’t want to play his games and you want him to know your expectations of this relationship. Although there is nothing wrong with telling your partner what it is that you want, if this is a guy who is emotionally unavailable, just make sure not to pressure him too much because it can be counterproductive. The last thing you want is to appear too clingy, needy or desperate in this guy’s eyes. Besides, even if he agrees to commit to you, you don’t want to know this happened because you forced him to do so and you don’t want him doing anything he really doesn’t want to do, just to please you.
3. Don’t chase him
Let him chase you, instead. As outdated as it may sound, men still love the chase. If you’ve been too available to his invitations–or worse, if you’re the one who’s always initiating them–slow down. You don’t want to be the eager beaver in a relationship. Trust me: being the one who’s always chasing will wear you down and make you feel less attractive.
Since you already know that he wants to take things slow, and you decided that you’re okay with it, wait for him to initiate things, whether it’s a date, chat, e-mail, or text. It’s hard, I know. Are you scared that if you stop communicating, he’ll totally forget you? If you’re still in Phase I, chances are he will get curious as to why you stopped texting him, and this will make you more attractive to him. Follow his pace no matter how slow it is. In fact, make your pace slower.
4. Open up
What if the reason he’s not open to you or that he’s scared of being in a relationship with you is that you’re not open to him, either? Tell him a secret, tell him about your fears, and tell him about your craziest dream.
Sharing secrets builds intimacy, and that is what we’re aiming for, right? Then watch for signs. If he’s listening intently to what you’re saying and sharing his own secrets, it means there’s hope for you. If he has zero enthusiasm when you reveal important things about yourself, it’s a sign that he is not into you or that it would take a lot of hard work from both of you to achieve the connection you’re yearning for.
5. Surprise him with a “no.”
If you’ve been a Yes Woman, surprise him by saying no to something he expects you to say yes to. It could be a dinner date or a fancy getaway. This might make him wonder why you said no, and this may somehow threaten him.
The feeling he gets when you show him you’re not that into him anymore will drive him crazy. It will make him rethink the whole non-relationship and possibly make his move this time, because he realizes he wants a relationship with emotional commitment.