It is no secret that men are much more likely to cheat on their partners than women. If you need any proof of this, and probably not, consider that the vast majority of the 37 million “active” users of Ashley Madison were overwhelmingly male. Does a “Y” chromosome biologically guarantee that we are all doomed to life as terrible idiots? Or is infidelity a more nuanced act plagued by psychological complexity? After all, “people don’t wake up one day and say,” You know, today I feel like cheating on my spouse, “says Meredith Shirey. With that in mind, we got in touch with some of the best relationship experts to gather the main reasons why men cheat, and we’ve included them all here.
- Boost without restrictions: you may have never thought of cheating until an opportunity suddenly arises. Then, without even thinking about what infidelity could do to their relationship, he went for it.
- Unrealistic expectations: You may feel that your partner must fulfill all your whims and desires, sexual and otherwise, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, regardless of how you feel at any particular time. He does not understand that she has a life of her own, with thoughts, feelings and needs that do not always involve her. When your expectations are not met, look for external satisfaction.
- Poor judgmen: Whether you agree to have drinks of tequila in a club with your friends, or even more dangerous, accept an individual dinner with Rachel in accounting, people committed and satisfied with your relationship will avoid those scenarios. If he actively and repeatedly decides to get involved in risk situations, something happens. “People know the consequences of infidelity,” says Mark. “It’s not a secret. Tear the couples.”
- Evolution: There is that old adage, where every man wants to sleep with as many women as possible: “spread his seed”, so to speak, and every woman wants to find a partner … “lock him up”. We are writers, not evolutionary psychologists, so we cannot expect to speak about the truth of that thought. We will let Shirey take it away: “There are some theories of evolutionary psychology. The theory is that, because women only have a chance of reproduction once a month, they tend to be much more demanding when choosing a partner. While men can basically have a chance of reproduction every time they ejaculate. “
- Child abuse: may be representing or responding latently to unresolved childhood trauma: neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, etc. a person could also be using the emotion and distraction of sexual infidelity as a way to calm the pain of these old uncured wounds.
- Selfishness: it is possible that his main consideration is for himself and only for himself. Therefore, you can lie and keep secrets without regret or regret, as long as you give him what he wants. You may have never pretended to be monogamous. Instead of seeing his vow of monogamy as a sacrifice made by and for his relationship, he sees it as something that should be avoided and avoided.
- Terminal uniqueness: You may feel that it is different and deserves something special that other men might not have. The usual rules simply do not apply to him, so he is free to reward himself outside his main relationship whenever he wishes.
- Psycho tendencies: most people do not wake up with the malicious intention of betraying or hurting their partner. Well, most. “Maybe it’s a personality disorder, or they’re deeply antisocial, or they have narcissistic tendencies,” says Shirey. Whatever the reason, “they need to address it themselves.” Until that happens, this man will hurt anyone, and everyone involved romantically with him. Run.
- Lack of male social support: You may have underestimated your need for supportive friendships with other men, hoping that your social and emotional needs are fully met by your partner. And when she inevitably fails in that duty, he seeks her satisfaction elsewhere.
- Insecurity: You may feel that you are too old (or too young), that you are not handsome enough, that you are not rich enough, that you are not intelligent enough, etc. spark of interest to feel loved, desired and dignified.
