Don’t grow up so fast. You have the rest of your life to be a woman, so enjoy being a girl as long as you can. Slow down, play, pretend and hang on those monkey bars even when your feet touch the ground. You are much more than your appearance. Being a woman can mean feeling pressure to appear in a certain way. But you are more than your packaging. Perfect skin, swollen hair and a dazzling smile are not worthy goals of your time. Physical perfection is not interesting, but you are. If there is anything I can do for my daughter, it would help her grow to avoid these thoughts of defeat as much as possible and understand these 8 things about being a girl and, finally, a woman. So, I just want my daughter to know these things:
It’s okay to break the rules.
Break all the rules of being “a girl.” No one can tell you what it is to be a woman, except you. You do it your way. Sing the song inside you. At this moment you are wild and untamed. Your hair dances around your face like the mane of a lion and everything you do is loud, loud and shameless.
If you run into rules that say you shouldn’t, you shouldn’t be fierce, wild or strong; Break them and break them with all your heart.
You are smart, don’t listen to the world.
I grew up with “you’re stupid” running in the back of my head constantly. Every dumb mistake became an obsession about how if I wasn’t so inept, I wouldn’t have made such a dumb mistake. But the truth is that I was on the honor roll, I took accelerated courses and they offered me scholarships based on my academic achievements. I also ended up completing a master’s program along with having a family. I want to make sure that even when my daughter makes a mistake, I reinforce that the mistakes are normal. The people are not perfect. I want him to know that a stupid mistake does not define it and, in any case, it is just another way to learn and grow. She is bright She is strong and she is definitely not stupid.
You don’t need to “fix” men.
Almost all the men I dated (and one I married) were “bad boys,” men who needed help or support in more extravagant ways than the average relationship. It was my way of diverting attention from my negative feelings about myself and focusing my energy elsewhere. But assuming these strenuous relationships, I moved away from myself. I couldn’t spend as much time as I should have focused on my own well-being because I was so overwhelmed to take care of someone else. I want my daughter to know that she deserves someone who doesn’t require every gram of her energy.
You can’t change my heart towards you.
It’s not possible. I have also been my worst self. I promise to love you in every shadow of struggle. I will go through every mistake, every disaster, every mile with you and I will do it a thousand times again. This life is messy and all the lines are confusing and unclear. No matter what, I am PROUD to be your mother.
You don’t need to “fix” your friends.
I am the person that people call when they are in crisis because they know that I will help. But as I got older, I had to learn that it is not good for you in general if you constantly give and don’t receive it. You have to take care of your needs before thinking about going beyond to help others. Your needs and your life should be your number one priority. It is easy to lose yourself completely, and when you realize that it has been lost, the damage can take much longer and much more pain to repair.
Things will not be perfect
Life will bring disappointments. There will be struggles, there will be people who say hurtful things, there will be lies that will try to consume you. There will be teachers who simply do not understand it, there will be friends who will go behind them, there will be people who are not friendly. That is not your fault. You didn’t do something wrong to deserve it. It is just life.
Trust your mom.
I grew up afraid to disappoint my mother. I knew she had high expectations of me, and that made it difficult for me to feel comfortable with her, even with minor problems in my life. When I discovered that I was pregnant at the age of 26, I was terrified of telling my mother. Because although I was an adult and had established my life with the man I loved, I was very afraid to disappoint her. I want him to know that, even through my disappointment, I am proud. I am reliable And she can tell me anything without fear of my reaction. Everyone needs that kind of support.
Know your worth.
As well as accepting compliments, it is also important to know what you are worth and not to take less. I apologize for why something good happens, instead of allowing me to be proud of my hard work. Everything good in life requires an effort on your part, and women are so quick to forget that. I want her not only to look beautiful and dignified but to talk about her achievements with pride.